If I am eaten by a polar bear…

Polar bear with cub. Credit: Scott Schliebe / USFWS

Don’t kill it.

If I am struck by a flying sturgeon don’t try to petition to have sturgeons removed from the endangered species list so people can kill more of them.

“[Sturgeons] may be endangered, but I kind of put us in that category, too,” she said.   (Marcia Kay Miller, mother of victim)

If I am swallowed by a shark, do not label it a “man eating shark” (or even “woman-eating”) and stage a vendetta against it.  (Seriously, we are made of meat. Every carnivore is potentially “man-eating”) Just leave it be.

If I am killed by a grizzly bear mama defending her cubs, leave her alone, even if I am in  Yellowstone or some other park.  Or if I am trekking in the north and wolves attack me or in the south and an alligator eats me, do not hunt down the suspected killers to determine (post mortem) if they were the guilty parties.

On Monday, state biologists tracked and shot two of the wolves that they believe were responsible… The animals were to be forensically examined to determine conclusively if their teeth match the bite marks found on Berner’s body. Officials also plan to compare DNA samples.  (MSNBC)

Grey Wolf Gary Kramer / USFWS

In short, if I am out in nature (you know, the outside where actual wild animals are busy minding their own business and living their lives), and something happens to me, do not blame the animal. And definitely, do not kill it, not for my sake anyway.

Sure, go ahead and investigate why the accident happened. Find out if my tour guide led me down a dangerous path or if my boat captain took me where he or she shouldn’t have. Investigate whether I was properly warned about the dangers of where I was. Find out if the people who were the experts, the responsible folks who should have known better, put me in harm’s way.  And if not, then decide whether or not I made a bad decision or if I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But, in any case, I won’t blame the animal. Neither should you. Thanks.